One of the many words used to describe every day life as a mother. I heard being a parent would be hard but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be THIS hard. The worst part is that it’s only the beginning but believe it or not that’s absolutely 110% the best part too. My son is a few days shy of 3 months and man oh man does that little boy have his mama wrapped around his tiny drool covered fingers.
He’s so tiny. I remember picking him up the first time feeling like I was going to break him. So fragile and sweet. Even though he will be 3 months here soon I still feel the same way. He gets stronger and stronger every day though so that’s somewhat reassuring. I don’t know how I’m supposed to eventually be okay with him doing everything on his own. I seriously think he’s two minutes from turning 12 every time I look at him.
I don’t know if I’m a doing a good job at this whole mom thing and I honestly don’t know if I ever will. What I do know for sure is that this kid could be in a pit full of snakes and I’d dive in head first just to see him smile. So I guess that’s going to have to count for something.
Before I became a mother I was a lot more fun, carefree and a hell of a lot less stressed. Now, Its a constant battle everyday to remember to eat, shower, switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer (if I can even ever get to it), feed and let the dog out, schedule appointments (hopefully be on time for them) and sometimes even to just breathe.
Being a mom is so hard and so much to juggle but I am extremely blessed and thankful to have a man in my life to help balance things out a bit. Seriously one of my favorite things to watch now even more than how to get away with murder is how he interacts with our son. He lights up whenever he sees his dad. I’m tearing up as I type this. He is such a lucky little boy and I am quite a lucky girl. Thank you honey you make everything so much easier.
As I sit here and write my son is upstairs asleep and I have this nagging pang in my stomach/heart that misses him. The one who never lets me eat my food while it’s hot, the one who cries until he sees my face and then sweetly smiles, the one who’s grumpiness way outweighs mine when he’s sleepy. And yet, I keep coming back for more. More of his smiles, more of his love, more of anything he’ll give me really.
This love is like nothing I’ve ever experienced and it’s nothing I will ever soon forget. Through the ups, downs, lefts and rights, sleepless and puke covered nights this Little guy is stuck with me for life. All I can hope for is that he genuinely won’t feel like he’s stuck with me but just that he wants to be.