8 very short days and I will be back to my office in the Sky. I feel excited, nervous, antsy, cautious, anxious and overjoyed! There are so many thoughts running through my mind and I honestly don’t know if they will ever slow down. Being a mom, girlfriend, dog mom and a woman in general I’ve found that balance is a hard thing to find especially when it’s not all about you after it had been for so long.
My career at Delta started a year ago and I found out I was pregnant 2 months into training. I had no idea I was pregnant . . . I thought the food in the training center was making me sick. It makes me laugh now that I look back and see myself nauseous, exhausted, overly emotional, unable to eat and farting all the time (sorry Laura lol) I didn’t tell her I was pregnant until the day of graduation. My poor roommate she seriously had to of been so grossed out lol
The day I found out I cried on the toilet for what felt like 3 hours then I got in the shower and cried on the floor even longer. I just finally made it to Delta after 2 years as a flight attendant at two different airlines. After applying 3 times and getting thanks but no thanks twice and finally the job offer I had waited for, for what seemed a lifetime and I was pregnant. PREGNANT! Man how things can change at the drop of a dime. Thank God my boyfriend was there through it all to support me even though I was literally the meanest, sassiest, brattiest pregnant woman ever.
I didn’t know what the future held for me at Delta and I certainly didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t tell anyone though. Especially not in training I was terrified they would fire me or something silly like that which wouldn’t have happened lol I wasn’t the most rational thinker. I graduated and hit the line with a pregnant belly, a hunger to match an elephant and confidence that I could still be a Mama growing her Little bug and keep flying.
Long story short I was an emotional wreck. I couldn’t keep focused and I was constantly exhausted so I went out on leave EARLY. I didn’t even know if I’d go back. Months passed by and I got a dog, had Bryce and bawled the first time Tom and I left the boys with my mom overnight to celebrate New Years together in Savannah. I cried in the street right before the countdown.
How on earth was I supposed to go back to flying when I couldn’t stand to leave him for 26 hours. Tom and I talked about it over and over. Tom is a Pilot so he understands how scheduling works in the FA world and for the most part its unpredictable in its predictability. Not to mention with his upgrade to Captain soon our schedules most likely be in conflict and certainly opposite at times.
With a lot of discussion and prayer I decided to return to work. I did my re-qualification in Atlanta at the beginning of March and was a nervous wreck. I was a puddle of sweat by the end of the day because my anxiety had gotten the best of me. Not to worry though I crushed it and everything I learned 10 months prior came flooding right back! I passed and now I’m FA qualified until the next time I go back in 18 months!
Although I am a whirlwind of emotions heading back I honestly cannot wait. I am eager to continue on my journey exploring the world and making a difference in my passengers lives every flight. I am ready to get back to some normalcy even though it’s now going to be a new normal of not being with Bryce every day. Some months will be really hard but after I get back into the swing of things it should be just fine. Who knows I may find that it’s actually not for me anymore and come back home humbled after I give it my best shot!
But for now I just plan to take things one day, one plane and one step at a time!
oh and don’t forget to